On this, your day of celebration,
142 years since Confederation,
I miss you so much, Cana-doo;
More majestic than any Xanadu.
More serene than the Zenniest Zen -
It almost makes DFW's O.N.A.N.,
Have some appeal, if only so I might say
I live in Canada, though technically, it's the USA.
I miss parliaments that get dissolved by queens,
and going as "kid-in-snowsuit" most Halloweens.
That anthem line I sang in grade school,
Will remain the one I sing, cuz fool(!);
A notion I just can't revise,
Is that "with glowworms' hearts, we see the rise".
And I guess this is my long way of saying,
Happy birthday, and thanks for staying
The True North, strong and free.
And I miss you lots, Oh Cana-dee,
And I'll see you soon, Oh Cana-doo.
Still so proud of that rhyme I made with Xanadu.
Even though it makes no sense,
Because your name is Canada.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Loading Mercury With A Pitchfork
Suddenly, I am obsessed with Richard Brautigan's poetry. Here are a few really great reasons why:
"Two Guys Get Out of a Car"
Two guys get out of a car.
They stand beside it. They
don't know what else to do.
"Postcard"
I wonder if eight-four-year-old Colonel Sanders
ever gets tired of travelling all around America
talking about fried chicken.
"They Are Really Having Fun"
They are really having fun,
drinking glasses of wine
and talking about things
that they like.
"Impasse"
I talked a good hello
but she talked an even
better good-bye.
"Two Guys Get Out of a Car"
Two guys get out of a car.
They stand beside it. They
don't know what else to do.
"Postcard"
I wonder if eight-four-year-old Colonel Sanders
ever gets tired of travelling all around America
talking about fried chicken.
"They Are Really Having Fun"
They are really having fun,
drinking glasses of wine
and talking about things
that they like.
"Impasse"
I talked a good hello
but she talked an even
better good-bye.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Arranged Word Marriages
These are some combinations of words my computer asked me to enter as a security check during a transaction. I think this is because my computer was interested in making sure I was a human, not another computer. The more I read into every word combination, the more I was like, "Computer, you can trust me on this. I am tons of human, all over the place."
Here they are, in the order of how much I like them.
sported lapsed.
Abbey Horace.
steida All.
dunging sholom.
Allen Salzberg.
new must.
Tonight's Elena.
stroked and.
prefab 1973.
Shiraz problems.
prefect communications.
Here they are, in the order of how much I like them.
sported lapsed.
Abbey Horace.
steida All.
dunging sholom.
Allen Salzberg.
new must.
Tonight's Elena.
stroked and.
prefab 1973.
Shiraz problems.
prefect communications.
Reviews and Promises
I have been writing book reviews here and there, and have posted the links to two short stubs below. More soon, perhaps full articles! WOULDN'T YOU BE LUCKY!
I am beginning to learn how to be better at pitching things, which is one of those skills that seems undeniably for adults. I spend so much of my time with people whose inner children are strapped to their chests in those trendy little slings that it is always a little jarring to remember that technically, I have entered adulthood. That I have actually been here for quite some time. So when I am emailing editors to ask if this thing I want to write is a thing they want to print, I always feel weird omitting that I am not really grown up. It ends up that they never find out that I am not an adult and I never find out that I am, and it works out well for everyone.
I especially recommend the first book, The Philosopher and the Wolf by Mark Rowlands. Anyone who has seen me in the last three months has probably heard me talk a little or a lot about this book. It is a memoir about the love between a man and a wolf, and I rescind my friendship if that is not enough to pique your interest.
http://www.thelmagazine.com/newyork/the-philosopher-and-the-wolf/Content?oid=1180025
http://www.thelmagazine.com/newyork/the-mighty-angel-by-jerzy-pilch/Content?oid=1151579
I have had a couple busy months and have not posted up here as much as I would have liked. Now it's summer and I'm going to post more. Is that an empty promise? Maybe you'll just have to come back forever, all the time, to see.
.
I am beginning to learn how to be better at pitching things, which is one of those skills that seems undeniably for adults. I spend so much of my time with people whose inner children are strapped to their chests in those trendy little slings that it is always a little jarring to remember that technically, I have entered adulthood. That I have actually been here for quite some time. So when I am emailing editors to ask if this thing I want to write is a thing they want to print, I always feel weird omitting that I am not really grown up. It ends up that they never find out that I am not an adult and I never find out that I am, and it works out well for everyone.
I especially recommend the first book, The Philosopher and the Wolf by Mark Rowlands. Anyone who has seen me in the last three months has probably heard me talk a little or a lot about this book. It is a memoir about the love between a man and a wolf, and I rescind my friendship if that is not enough to pique your interest.
http://www.thelmagazine.com/newyork/the-philosopher-and-the-wolf/Content?oid=1180025
http://www.thelmagazine.com/newyork/the-mighty-angel-by-jerzy-pilch/Content?oid=1151579
I have had a couple busy months and have not posted up here as much as I would have liked. Now it's summer and I'm going to post more. Is that an empty promise? Maybe you'll just have to come back forever, all the time, to see.
.
Monday, May 18, 2009
The Comet is So Over You
Yes, Daryl, I mostly created The Comet to win you back. Fine. You win. You’re right.
But please realize something: I created her. She is mine, Daryl. True, a year ago, you were standing there in the kitchen, yelling at me that I was going nowhere and so by extension we were going nowhere, and yes, I admit, that was a catalyst. Admonishing me for the fact that all I did was smoke weed, eat yogurt and hope that someone might buy one of my rocket sculptures and that'd be my annual salary, fine that was the catalyst. That was all the impetus I needed. I knew drastic measures of self-improvement would be necessary to win you back after that walk-out.
But I was the one that went out and created her. I was the one that designed and paid for the flame resistant suit. I was the one that devised the catapult system. I was the one that mastered mind-controlled jet propulsion. I was the one that saved the mayor, and the commissioner,and thousands of other innocent citizens. If you recall, you weren't there for the superheroic reinvention part, Daryl.
So, does it really come as that much of a surprise that I am the one that’s now over you? Over you like some kind of BRIGHT COMET IN THE DARK NIGHT SKY? I am beloved by high society now, invited to all those soirees you used to hunger for; meanwhile, the city's lowest scum loathes me, fears me, can not imagine a more terrifying adversary. Loved by the best and feared by the worst; do you have any idea how fully complete I feel every day, waking up, remembering all the conquests - moral, scientific, romantic - of the previous night? How little room there is for you now that it is she and me?
No, I will not even consider cuddling!
But please realize something: I created her. She is mine, Daryl. True, a year ago, you were standing there in the kitchen, yelling at me that I was going nowhere and so by extension we were going nowhere, and yes, I admit, that was a catalyst. Admonishing me for the fact that all I did was smoke weed, eat yogurt and hope that someone might buy one of my rocket sculptures and that'd be my annual salary, fine that was the catalyst. That was all the impetus I needed. I knew drastic measures of self-improvement would be necessary to win you back after that walk-out.
But I was the one that went out and created her. I was the one that designed and paid for the flame resistant suit. I was the one that devised the catapult system. I was the one that mastered mind-controlled jet propulsion. I was the one that saved the mayor, and the commissioner,and thousands of other innocent citizens. If you recall, you weren't there for the superheroic reinvention part, Daryl.
So, does it really come as that much of a surprise that I am the one that’s now over you? Over you like some kind of BRIGHT COMET IN THE DARK NIGHT SKY? I am beloved by high society now, invited to all those soirees you used to hunger for; meanwhile, the city's lowest scum loathes me, fears me, can not imagine a more terrifying adversary. Loved by the best and feared by the worst; do you have any idea how fully complete I feel every day, waking up, remembering all the conquests - moral, scientific, romantic - of the previous night? How little room there is for you now that it is she and me?
No, I will not even consider cuddling!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
MAY IS SHOW TIME!
Saturday, May 9th
Mastodon Mattingly! Players Theatre, 115 Macdougall Street! 7pm! Free?
Sunday, May 10th
Mastodon Mattingly! Parkside Lounge, 317 E Houston! 9:30pm! Hosted by Shark Tank! Free!
Tuesday, May 12
Suck My Dick! UCB, 307 W. 26th Street! 11pm! Free with Harold Night ticket, $5 if not!
Wednesday, May 13
Mastodon Mattingly! Under St. Marks, 94 St. Marks Pl! 9pm! Probably about $5? Hosted by Fat Penguin!
Tuesday, May 19th
Suck My Dick! UCB, 307 W. 26th Street! 11pm! Free with Harold Night ticket, $5 if not!
Saturday, May 23
Mastodon Mattingly! Under St. Marks, 94 St Marks Pl! 10:30pm! $7! Hosted by Sherpa!
Tuesday, May 26
Suck My Dick! UCB, 307 W. 26th Street! 11pm! Free with Harold Night ticket, $5 if not!
Mastodon Mattingly! Players Theatre, 115 Macdougall Street! 7pm! Free?
Sunday, May 10th
Mastodon Mattingly! Parkside Lounge, 317 E Houston! 9:30pm! Hosted by Shark Tank! Free!
Tuesday, May 12
Suck My Dick! UCB, 307 W. 26th Street! 11pm! Free with Harold Night ticket, $5 if not!
Wednesday, May 13
Mastodon Mattingly! Under St. Marks, 94 St. Marks Pl! 9pm! Probably about $5? Hosted by Fat Penguin!
Tuesday, May 19th
Suck My Dick! UCB, 307 W. 26th Street! 11pm! Free with Harold Night ticket, $5 if not!
Saturday, May 23
Mastodon Mattingly! Under St. Marks, 94 St Marks Pl! 10:30pm! $7! Hosted by Sherpa!
Tuesday, May 26
Suck My Dick! UCB, 307 W. 26th Street! 11pm! Free with Harold Night ticket, $5 if not!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
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