When Lil Harry Met Sally

I was walking past a fancy apartment building on my way home from work today, one of those ones with a super-chic lobby and a doorman with his very own big shiny marble desk. A kid on the street was yelling at someone inside; these were his sage words: "I'm just saying, you're wasting your time on her!" I looked to see who he was doling romantic advice out to - it was another kid! In response kid #2, gave kid #1 a look that was sort of a cheerful "back me up here!" type thing! Then he proceeded to head to the elevator with confidence, as men in movies do when they've realized that the girl they always took for granted is the one they want to be with forever and they have to tell her so right the fuck now before she marries Rob Lowe. And that speech better be crazy sweet and articulate, too, because Billy Crystal truly set the bar very high in When Harry Met Sally, and it's not going to drop just because your heart is on the line.

To see the climax of a traditional romantic comedy play out before your eyes is not really that rare in New York. Men are always dropping down on one knee, women are always given meaningful sidelong glances, etc. But to see two 10-year-olds do this was absurd and jarring and totally spectacular. I wish so badly I knew the context and the resolution for what I witnessed. I want to know all the buddy stuff these two kids talk about, and I want to know everything about the lovelorn kid's girl. For example, her age. Is she also 10? Or is she in her thirties, like in Big? Universe, can you just give me this information, please? Please, universe? Even if it's just because you're glad somebody's not asking you about dark matter for a change?

I could nail being an extra in a romantic comedy now; I could Stanislavsky the crap out of it, because I've really lived the part. I know how it feels to be stunned as somebody you've never seen before makes the most important decision of their life and follows through with it before your eyes.

Kid, I hope you kicked Billy Crystal's bar right out into the stratosphere!