Sunday, March 21, 2010

10 Ways I Could Really Nail My Callback

1. Stay on the back line the whole time. Sweep edit one scene, but go right to the back line afterwards. Stare at the ground, pre-execution style.

2. Walk on in every scene as a different character.

3. Walk on in every scene as the same character.

4. If somebody else initiates a grounded scene, respond by screaming, "Why aren't you more worried about this rocket's collision course with the Sun!?!?"

5. If somebody initiates a wacky scene, respond by saying, "This is all in your head! We're actually both in a mental institution. I'm your doctor and you're the patient, and it's the year 2000. You think you have Y2K in your brain. Your name is Jerry, mine is Dr. Grubenparker." Then turn to the people watching and say "How's that for who, what, when and where?" Then edit the scene.

6. Take "back line support" to mean making bird, ocean and lawnmower sounds to create the appropriate atmosphere, even if none of those things is mentioned in the scene.

7. Sit down with the panel and give them business cards. Tell them it's for "when they're ready to get a real job."

8. Play a character that only vomits.

9. Play a character with explosive diarrhea, and make loud fart noises if anybody tries to make the scene not about the very funny diarrhea.

10. Yell, "SCENE!" at the end of every scene.

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