Tuesday, February 16, 2010


"I like...I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get."

-Del Griffith to Neal Page, 1987

If you don't tear up a little when John Candy delivers this line, then I am sorry to be the one to inform you that you are a robot parading around as a human. And you're not a Wall-E/Iron Giant/Nufonia Robot. No way. They'd all get it. They'd tear up together in a heartfelt robot lovefest.

Shit, you're not even a Terminator; at least it had a CPU programmed to adapt and learn about its environment, which includes learning about how moving Del Griffith asserting his dignity can be. You also can't pass as a Roomba, ever since Tom Haverford introduced the adorable and charismatic DJ Roomba to the world in what is my second favourite Parks and Recreation moment (it does not beat the sugar rush dance party).

You're basically just some boring appliance, like a can opener, hair dryer or a toaster oven. Like I said, sorry to have to be the one to inform you. Now open this soup can, robot!

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